Playtest Session Log - Episode 5 - Exploring the Florida Nebula, Blackholes Edition

WarpCrawl » Devlog
2 years ago by WatcherDM (@watcherdm1)
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  1. We sail into the darkness and find the ♦️K War Dukes of the Ring Worlds. The War-Dukes love gambling and breed battle beasts to gamble on. The most popular breed of battle beast looks strangley like Earth’s Golden Retriever. Instead of gambling money they gamble blood - genetic material for cloning and breeding purposes. We took 1 Damage in the fire fight!
  2. We entered the darkness and found ♥️8 a Black Hole, The Gravity Engine was destroyed and we were flung to ♦️2 a lifeless world. We collected 8 ore.
  3. We return to ♣️5 Advanced World. Taken over by the prisoners we loosed, it has become the republic of arms. Dr What notices that rings have become popular and are distributed to those who provide civil service to the republic. Helen of Troi points out how the youth seem to show attraction through complicated handshakes. Billy Zane notices the t-shirts are more interesting, elaborate, and creative. Way better than when those Posers were running things. We impress them! They greet us as heroes and allow us to use the planet as a homeworld.
  4. We return to ♦️2, a lifeless world. We collect 15 ore.
  5. We return to ♦️7, a shattered world. Billy zane is not able enough to save us from 1 damage.
  6. We return to ♦️8, a Black Hole. We fail to engage the gravity engine.
  7. We try the Gravity Engine again. Failing again.
  8. We try the Gravity Engine again. The Gravity Engine is destroyed. We are flung to ♥️K, the Gate Makers, who welcome us in a bizarre door-opening ritual. You have transcended the gates. They give us a Gatemaker Drive, allowing us to travel between black holes and anomaly.
  9. Return to sol. We return to the ♥️K Gatemakers, but break our scanners entering their space.
  10. We use the Gatemaker Drive to travel to ♦️8 a black hole.
  11. We use the gravity engine to leave, and fail to engage the gravity engines.
  12. We fail again, stuck in the black hole again.
  13. We fail again, stock in the black hole again.
  14. The gravity engine breaks, we are flung to ♣️6 an away mission, the clusters of space stations. This space station is spooky haunted house-style trap! It’s filled with that fake cobweb crap. They’re really spores of a telepathic mushroom entity that is haunting the ship. Helen of Troi tried to science up some sort of facemask to avoid breathing in spores. She succeeds! And finds two Ore! A spooky figure lurches at Dr What. He security officers right in the jaw, preventing the mushroom zombie from removing the face mask. Billy Zane overrides the space stations docking mechanisms, to allow the ship to leave. He does so, picking up more Ore on the way out! We found a Sledge Drive.
  15. We return to sol.
  16. Return to sol.
  17. We return to the ♥️K Gatemakers, but break our scanners entering their space.
  18. We return to the ♥️K Gatemakers, but break our scanners entering their space.
  19. We return to the ♥️K Gatemakers.
  20. We use the Gatemaker Drive to travel to ♦️8 a black hole.
  21. We fail to engage the gravity engine.
  22. We finally get out of the black hole.
  23. We sail into the darkness and find ♠️3 Primitive world. They have five eyes and are snakelike with little tentacle chins. Little wings and horns too! They are avid merchants and love to barter. They don’t reproduce sexually - they clone themselves and trade the clones for other clones. Billy Zane names them the Red Bullians. The crisis is the atmosphere is too thin; their wings no longer provide flight. Their urgent need for greenhouse gases has cause to mine too deep and too greedily. They have a predator that could previously not get them (because they could fly) but is now chowing down on them willy nilly. Dr What attempts to hunt the beast, armed only with his wits and deep commitment to malpractice. He harvests 4 supplies from its liver. Billy Zane will try and find the cause of the thinning atmosphere. He finds it is being siphoned off by the fucking nearby blackhole! 8 ♦️s… Helen of Troi sciences up a synthetic greenhouse gas so they don’t need to mine so deeply in the future. She succeeds! We’ve saved the Red Bullians! They are now friendly!
  24. We sail into the darkness and find ♥️J - Psycho Dilator Cannon. We ignore it.
  25. We sail into the darkness and find ♥️5 an Advanced World. Their whole civilization fits in a charming blue booth, thanks to Spatial Compression. Yet somehow they all have too much luggage. Which is strange, because they each have a hundred arms for carrying luggage with. We call them the Squeezers. They are being threatened by an oncoming asteroid and are considering leaving this level of space entirely. The Asteroid is the size of a briefcase. Riding the asteroid is a creature with 200 legs, waving around a cowboy hat, gripped tightly between his toes. Helen of Troi tried talking to the creature with 200 legs, getting them to reconsider their asteroid trip. She does so! Billy Zane shows the aliens hardlight shields and suggests they use them. Gains supplies! The last thing pushing them away is a terrible case of dysmorphia. They think they are much wider and heavier than they are. Luckily, with the power of pharmaceuticals, Dr What plumps them up while removing their inhibitions. Hurrah! We’ve befriended another advanced Civilization!
  26. We travel into the darkness and find ♦️J Electro Parasitic Nebula. Successfully navigate the radiation storm with the help of Dr. What.
  27. We return to ♥️5 Advanced World. We are able to use this system as a home world. Billy Zane observes that they are cute little buggers and he finds them oddly attractive. Helen of Troi discovers that they too believe in having pen pals. She makes a friend. Dr What swears they have the densest brandy in the Warp Cluster.
  28. We return to the ♥️3 but they are being occupied by the cruel war dukes. We fight! We won our friends a brief moment of freedom!
  29. We sail into the darkness and find ♣️J Galactic Bazar. We purchase a spatial compressor from a smuggler.
  30. We sail into the darkness and find ♠️10 Crisis Alert - Spatial Sheet. The ship takes 1 damage.
  31. We return to ♣️J the Galactic Bazar.
  32. We return to ♥️3 a Primitive world. Dr What’s incompetence lead to some damage!
  33. We sail into the darkness and find ♦️A Anomaly. It speaks every language, but says random words telepathically. It speaks in James Earl Jones’s voice. It’s a collective unconscious of all the perished people of this sector. We are able to sail safely through.
  34. We sail into the darkness and find ♣️4 a peer world. They are pink with green polka dots. Fake spots are sold on every street corner as a substitute for virility. Their only focus is sex - they use it for currency, food, religion - everything. We call them the Dotted Spits. They’ve just discovered that one of the Dotted Spits is Green with Pink polka dots. It blows their minds, but not in a good way. The ensuing inquisition has uncovered truly terrifying rates of false spot usage among the youth. False spot usage has been linked to cancer and anal leakage. Billy Zane needs to fly the results of the medical testing back to their central doctoring facility. Success! He gets rewarded with Ores and Supplies! Dr What confronts the most pressing issue first - He goes cork shopping! He buys them, with sex! They resulting chemistry fuels the ship for six supplies. Helen of Troi is going to talk to everyone about their feelings and why they feel the need to risk anal leakage in today’s day and age. She ranked up and got more supplies. We solved their immediate crisis and made friends!
  35. We sail to the ♥️8 black hole and engage the gatemaker engine.
  36. We appear at the ♥️K Gatemakers.
  37. We return to sol.

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